I walked into the kitchen and lost my appetite for some reason.
You walk into the kitchen. There’s nobody home, and the lights are dim. Out of the corner of your eye you spot him
Spongebob Squarepants
#He gets on all fours and breaks into a sprint #then he stops on his right foot #don’t forget it #now he brings it around town
Skittle Burger Recipe
- Get skittles
- Smash em together
- Eat it.
My dad just emailed me this huge list of puns oh my god
- I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
- When chemists die, they barium.
- Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
- I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
- This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
- I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
- I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
- They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
- We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
- Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
- Broken pencils are pointless.
- I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
- What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
- I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
- All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
- I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
- Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
- A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
- The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
- Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
Downton. How I’ve missed it! I cannot believe I missed the WHOLE 2nd season on tv! I have GOT to find it on DVD for summer…
(Source: marycrawleyshats)
Soft otter, warm otter, little ball of Ben, happy otter, sleepy otter Sherlock Sherlock Sherlock
(Source: magicalnaturetour)
Forever reblog.
Oh my goodness. This is so beautiful. Tears of joy. Only one verb here.
(Source: ladylockhart)
(Source: planets-bend-between-us)





